I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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