She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
