You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
