Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize