I wannas sexs uuuuu
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
