What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
