Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
