we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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