I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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