It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You smell like stripper and shame
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
