he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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