I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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