Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
