new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
