Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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