and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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