You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
