its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize