his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
