chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
