So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
