Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
