There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
