just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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