Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
