I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
