Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
