You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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