youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
