If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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