At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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