Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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