He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
