and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize