I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
