Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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