I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How drunk are you?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.