he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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