I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
