That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
