just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
