Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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