Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
