if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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