I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
