i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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