Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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