Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
