All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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