I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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