who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
FUCK WHALES
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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