dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
