she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
