I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
