Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
