Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
