D3 body, D1 cock
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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