I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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