I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
People in love make me want to vomit
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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