How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
