apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
